In the official health report released late Friday night, Trump’s doctor said he was in “excellent health,” weighing 238 pounds and standing tall at 6’3″. The doctor also stated that Trump’s heart health was like that of a man “14 years younger.” It amusingly noted that the bruises on his hands were from “handshakes.”
“6’3.
238 lbs. ECG is 14 years younger. Bruising from handshakes. OMG, I just can’t. HAHAHAHA! Kim Jong Trump,” tweeted Dr. Tyler Black.
However, the part that made real doctors shake their heads was the strange mention of an “AI-enhanced electrocardiogram (ECG) analysis” that claimed to estimate the president’s heart age as 14 years younger.
“When I talked about this with some of my colleagues in cardiology, everyone laughed.
That’s not a recognized or useful tool in medicine,” Dr. Jonathan Reiner told CNN’s Laura Coates. “It’s flattering for the president, but it’s not something doctors actually use.”
“I must have missed the lesson where they teach how to figure out a person’s biological age from their ECG.
And after 70 years of shaking hands, Queen Elizabeth’s hands must have been covered in bruises when she passed away,” remarked @surfdoctor, a cardiologist from London on X.
“Putting your name on a clearly made-up report like this is a terrible way to misuse your medical license.
Also, when I was in medical school, physical exams were straightforward and didn’t include a lot of subjective comments on what was seen. Saying bruising was from handshakes made me laugh out loud,” added James D. Haddad, MD, on X.
Naturally, Trump boasted after the physical that everything went “PERFECTLY,” and Dr. Sean Barbabella’s report backed that up.
The bruises?
From shaking hands, of course.
His “busy schedule” and “frequent wins on the golf course” were both signs of excellent fitness.
But the reality is, the man often looks very unhealthy, struggles with his speech, has bruises on both hands that require using Estee Lauder products, swollen ankles, and a sore on his neck.
He also frequently falls asleep in front of the press.
It’s a clever attempt from Trump’s team, claiming that AI is so advanced it notices greatness that the rest of us overlook because we focus on obvious health issues.
As for his mental state, he passed all three cognitive tests!
Forget the fact that these tests are usually given to people thought to have dementia and are really quite simple for anyone mentally healthy to pass without mistakes.
Kim Il Sung, the late North Korean leader, had a large tumor on the back of his neck, but his people never knew about it.
Why? Because photographers were not allowed to take pictures of him from behind, under threat of execution.
Trump may never reach Kim-level control over the truth about his health, but he would certainly try if he could!
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