“Well guys, the big story is that Jimmy Kimmel was suspended at ABC after pressure by the FCC leaving everyone saying WTF?” said Fallon. “What’s going on?”
“This morning, I woke to a hundred text messages from my dad saying ‘I’m sorry they canceled your show,’ and I go ‘That’s not me! That’s Jimmy Kimmel!'” joked Fallon.
“But to be honest with you all, I don’t know what’s going on and no one does,” he continued. “But I do know Jimmy Kimmel, and he’s a decent, funny and loving guy, and I hope he comes back.”
“Yeah, a lot of people are worried that we won’t keep saying what we want to say, or that we’ll be censored, but I’m going to cover the president’s trip to the UK, just like I normally would,” said Fallon.
“Well guys, President Trump just wrapped up his three day trip to the UK, and he—” said Fallon, at which point a dubbed voiceover censored him to say “—looked incredibly handsome.”
“As always, his tie was—” said Fallon, with the voiceover adding “—exactly the right length.”
“And his face looked—” said Fallon. “—like a color that exists in nature,” stated the voiceover.
“And his hair looked—” said Fallon. “—better than Conrad’s from ‘The Summer I Turned Pretty,’ said the voiceover.
“During the trip, protestors managed to project images onto the sides of Windsor Castle of Trump sitting next to his good friend Jeff—”
“Goldblum,” stated the voiceover, censoring the name Epstein.
“Even though his administration still insists the he’s not in the—” continued Fallon.
“—Goldblum—” interjected the voiceover.
“—files,” said Fallon. “Which we all know is absolute bull—”
“—true,” said the voiceover.
“Anyway to sum it up, President Trump is—” said Fallon.
“Making America Great Again by restoring our national reputation, reinvigorating our economy, and rebuilding our military. I hereby nominate him for the Nobel Peace Price,” stated the voiceover.
“And you can quote me on that!” joked Fallon.
This refusal to back down from his Trump mockery is a sign of real bravery on the part of Fallon, because he’s next in the MAGA crosshairs. In a Truth Social post celebrating the Kimmel firing, Trump said that “Jimmy and Seth” are left and urged NBC to terminate them. This so-called president won’t be satisfied until free speech is totally dismantled and all of his critics are silenced.
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