This year, the annual White House Correspondents’ Dinner decided to stop having a comedian host the event and make fun of the current president and their team.
Since Donald Trump used to refuse to attend any event where he might be joked about, this was the only way to get him back to the place where he had been mocked before, like when Barack Obama made fun of him back in 2011.
Jimmy Kimmel, a late-night host, said that Trump had told comedians not to perform at the dinner, because, as Kimmel said, “our president is a delicate snowflake with the thinnest skin of any human being ever.”
So, Kimmel still made fun of Trump, but he called it the “Alternate White House Correspondents’ Dinner” from the “Trump Kimmel Center in Washington, DC,” which was a small joke about the MAGA alternate Super Bowl Halftime show.
It was exactly what Trump feared the most.
Kimmel’s fake routine started right away: “I haven’t seen this much black since every page of the Trump Epstein files.”
He then made fun of the narcissist-in-chief and some members of his team, pointing out all the major flaws Trump tries to hide.
On Trump’s ego: “The president didn’t want me to tell any jokes about him tonight, but he also didn’t want to pay me $130,000 to shut up.
So here we are. Sorry, mushroom d**k.”
On Trump’s devotion to Jesus: “Every time he walks into a room, people say, ‘Christ, he’s back.’
Who did your makeup? Kraft Singles?”
On Trump’s legacy: “He passed new incentives for oil and gas.
He put the brakes on solar and wind. That will be your legacy, sir — breaking wind and passing gas.”
On Trump’s connection to Epstein: “30 years ago, you were just some rich guy on Jeffrey Epstein’s private jet out of Teterboro.
But you worked hard, stayed friends, shared some wonderful secrets. And because of that, you were able to fly on that plane seven more times. Dreams really do come true.”
On Melania: “Mrs. Trump, you have a glow like an expectant widow.
She’s planning to celebrate her birthday at home, the same way she always does — looking out a window and whispering, ‘What have I done?'” And: “Melania’s documentary had a score of 10% on Rotten Tomatoes, which is a website named after her husband’s testicles.”
On Kash Patel: “Can we get Kash a vodka soda and a booster seat?
I’m not saying Kash Patel has a problem, but his designated driver is Pete Hegseth.”
On Pete Hegseth: “Pete’s hair has more oil in it right now than the Strait of Hormuz.
Later on, Pete’s going to read us a Bible passage from Pulp Fiction, so stick around.”
On RFK Jr.: “Years ago, he wrote in his diary that he pulled his car over to carve the penis out of a raccoon.
His son asked why. He said, ‘Because I’m a f—ing psychopath. Now get out of this car and go get measles.'”
Kimmel ended his fake roast by presenting another made-up award that the insecure president loves: the “inaugural Burger King of Comedy Gold Award,” which was given to “Donald J. Leno Trump.
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Even though Trump got the White House Correspondents’ Association to stop comedians from performing at the dinner, the comedy still happened, thanks to Jimmy Kimmel.
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